The Way We Are
by Blade of Justice
Summary: IF's been leaving some anonymous messages for Vert on her blog, and now she's been called over to Leanbox. Is it a sign of Mission Accomplished, or has her message not even been received? And what did she have to say that she couldn't say in person, anyway?


IF was nervous.

It wasn't like being nervous when she approached Lady Vert's chambers was a new feeling or anything. Quite the opposite. The sight of the goddess' blonde hair could ruin her if she caught it in the light or she hadn't prepared herself. Nervousness and Lady Vert happened to go hand in hand as far as IF was concerned. In a strange sort of way, she had come to expect that nervousness, and in expecting it, grown accustomed to it, and in growing accustomed to it, well...

No, today was different.

IF had reason to be nervous. She knew it to be so.

Over the past few weeks, IF had been leaving certain... shall she say... _comments_ on her Lady's blog. Nothing too spaced close together, and nothing from the same cell phone. She was lucky to have so many at her disposal, otherwise Vert might have been able to catch on to this particular scheme of hers. There was a message she wanted to get across to the goddess, but she was too ashamed to deliver it in person — too... cowardly. Words like "coy" and "shy" were reserved for people wanting to do something good, she told herself, and this was not that.

So instead, she had opted for perhaps the most underhanded tactic she had ever thought of in all her years — and it looked like it had paid off. Why else would Vert have randomly called on her like this?

... That...

Well, alright, so when it came to Vert, there could be any number of reasons she might want to see IF, from wanting to dress her up in cosplay to just wanting to invite her out on the town — for all IF knew, Vert had no idea what she had been doing, and the brunette was just being overly paranoid. That wasn't to say she didn't have _reason_ to be, but but but but _but_ \- she had just as much reason to _not_ be too!

This was what she had wanted, wasn't it?

Wasn't it?

Shaking off her concerns — as best she could at least — IF adjusted her massive coat as she made her way through Leanbox's Basilicom. A greeting exchanged with Yvoire had helped calmed her nerves, and seeing those two perverted brothers dashing off wearing matching dresses — likely at the orders of Lady Vert — made her grin a little.

"Well... It's time. It won't be so bad. It'll be fine." IF nodded to herself as Vert's bedroom door came into view. She had taken all the necessary precautions she had needed to in order to not be found out. She was a coward, truly, but now the ball was in Vert's court. She had "said" her piece, in a manner of speaking anyway. Nodding to herself, feeling as calm as ever, IF knocked gently on the door. "Lady Vert? It's IF."

"Come in."

With those two words, all the work IF had done preparing herself for this moment — the first moment she had seen Vert since she had put her plan into action, as well as everything walking into the Basilicom this afternoon — shattered to pieces. How did her goddess' voice _do_ that do her...?!

"O-Oh, c-coming!" She managed to splutter out, gripping the door handle like it was at risk of falling off as she pressed forward.

Nervousness and fear and so many more things violently rose up inside of her all in one rush of emotion. She wasn't prepared for this. Vert was most definitely going to tell her she was acting on IF's wishes — unknowing though she was that they were IF's — and IF wasn't so sure how she felt about this anymore-!

There she was. The goddess of Leanbox. Its CPU and guardian. Sitting on her bed, waiting for IF, as fetching as always. She bowed her head in greeting briefly, offering a smile to IF — it would have taken her breath away if it wasn't a well known fact Vert had exclusive rights to it already.

"M-My Lady...! How are you?"

"Oh, you know..." A giggle. "Come, Iffy, let's chat. I've missed you terribly."

"A-Ah... Okay..."

... Ah... Huh...

"So, how have things been?"

"Huh? O-Oh, well... You know. Nep-Nep's getting into trouble, same as always..."

"Same as always, hmm?"

"Same as always."

So... That was it. They began to chat. That was all it was. IF found herself starting to relax.

Was this really all Vert had wanted from her...?

Maybe IF really had overthought this whole thing.

Truthfully, the more she got into the conversation, the more IF found she was only half-paying attention to Vert. Shameful though it was, she was hoping Vert, close as they were, would just hurry up and bring up the topic IF was hoping she had called her hear to. The more pleasant this conversation became, the more her mind was drawn back to everything she had been doing... And all the emotions it brought up inside of her — and how it made her feel about what she and Vert were doing now, and what they might be doing if they were to address that... topic. That all changed when Vert spoke next.

"Iffy, have you seen my blog, lately?" Vert's voice was polite, displaying the utmost level of formality. It was the perfect, proper tone, fitting the image that IF had held in her heart of her Lady from before she had even ever met the woman.

And therein was the problem.

In almost all the time IF had known her, Lady Green Heart had _never_ spoken to her so formally.

It was the strangest thing. She was sure she had longed to hear her goddess speak in such an elegant tone for a long time, hadn't she? Yet here she was, feeling like she had just been punched in the stomach when Vert had addressed her in a voice completely devoid of all of its usual zest.

"I... I..." IF stumbled on her words. She shot a look towards the floor, hoping it might be of some assistance. It decidedly was not.

Had... Had she gotten the result she had wanted after all?

" _Apparently_ , some commenters have taken it upon themselves to give me relationship advice." Looking away from IF now, Vert ran a hand through her hair, a dismissive sort of look aimed at a spot on the wall. Her tone changed slightly, as if an edge was starting to seep into it — but it still held that unnerving, formal force to it that was driving IF mad right now. "My... Isn't that the strangest thing? As if I need something like that."

"I... I guess..." IF was at a loss. "It is pretty strange, huh...? H-Hahaha..."

This wasn't the result she had expected. Perhaps she had considered Vert might not take it seriously enough, that she might need to give Vert a little push once Vert subtly (or not so subtly) consulted her about it... This, though? From Vert?

She had expected a variety of reactions from Vert. Calm and... almost _cold_ Vert, though... How could she have possibly expected that when she'd never even _seen_ that before...?

"It must not be _that_ strange..." Vert continued, still looking at that spot on the wall. Without warning, she suddenly looked over to IF. She blinked, a confused look briefly crossing her features. "My, Iffy, you didn't answer my question. Have you seen it or not? I can't very well keep talking about this if you're in the dark. If you haven't, I can show you."

It was IF's turn to blink in confusion. She had almost been starting to wonder, from the way Vert had been speaking... But it looked like she had been worried for nothing.

"O-Oh, um... I do look at your blog, you know that..." She would look suspicious if she said otherwise. IF had said as much to Vert when they had met, and it _was_ true that she followed the goddess' blog — even when she _wasn't_ up to no good.

"Good, good." Offering IF an appreciative smile, as if she was glad she didn't have to go into any unnecessary details, Vert returned her gaze to the wall. It seemed as though whatever she was feeling about those comments, it was... something, huh? "Now then, where oh where was I...?"

For a moment, IF wondered... Maybe it would be wise to come clean before this got out of hand...? If she was so bothered by them, then... No no, she told herself. She had to make sure Vert got that message. Maybe she wouldn't accept it so easily now, but... It wasn't so terrible, was it?

The sharp voice of Vert interrupted her.

"Do you agree?"

IF stared. Did she... agree? With what? Had Vert been saying something while she had been zoning out? No, that hadn't been the case, she was paying attention this time, so what-

"Oh dear, I wasn't direct enough, was I?" Vert's gaze was solely on IF now. The brunette began to swear nervously. She would have much rather seen Vert looking at the wall again, if she could have had her way. For this conversation, at least... "Do you agree with what the consensus on my blog seems to be? I want your opinion, Iffy. That's why you're here, you see."

Her eyes widened — she restrained a gasp. Was it... Was it going in the direction she had wanted it to after all? Wasn't this... actually a good thing, maybe...?

Lady Vert was acting strange, she supposed, but maybe she should have expected that given what the goddess was probably thinking about doing... And it must have been awkward to have to come to IF for advice about a topic that did technically involve her. That was alright. If it made IF's desires a reality, then she could go through with this. It was just as she'd planned from the start.

"After all, the person who wrote them must have a _lot_ to say about this topic, wouldn't you agree?" Ah.

Hearing those words spoken from Vert's lips, the blonde goddess' gaze not leaving her for a second, IF's blood ran cold. Her whole body froze in place for a moment — and then the panic spread.

No.

No.

 _No no no no no_.

 _She wasn't supposed to figure it out!_

"Well?" There was that icy formality again. Like frozen needles into her skin. How... appropriate.

Holding out her hands, as if grasping at the air itself, IF tried to find something — anything — to come up with the words she needed right now. Her expression was clearly warped, but she couldn't find it in her to care about her appearance right now. Perhaps looking hideous would help in her favor!

"I-It's just... Nep-Nep and Lady Noire, they... So..." IF didn't think she would have to explain it. She didn't think she would have been in a position where she would have been caught. She had been almost wondered, in the dark recesses of her heart, if Vert was going to tell her, if anything, that it would have been inappropriate of them to spend so much time together going forward. Part of her had almost hoped for that. "So you and... You two must..."

"Oh?" Vert quirked a brow. She crossed her hands over her chest, and if IF didn't know better, she could have sworn Vert was looking on the verge of becoming genuinely and truly angry with her. "Blanc and I must _what_? No no, Iffy- I'm sorry, _Miss_ _IF_. You shouldn't answer that. You would never think about doing that to me, would you? No _no_ , of course _you_ wouldn't, not after everything we've been through together, everything you've done for me — you wouldn't just decide to toss me aside like that." Vert nodded firmly. "I apologize. I was mistaken earlier. Only someone who has _no idea_ how much you mean to me, how much I treasure you and our time together, how much I value that... Only _that_ sort of person would even consider..."

Vert gasped — it was so clearly faked that it just made IF flinch.

"Oh, _I_ know! Why don't I consult the words of my loyal followers about this matter, as so _many_ of them have been so helpful in chiming in about it, mmm? Then we can see what _you_ have to say about it."

IF swallowed, looking to the door. Thoughts of escape flitted through her mind.

There was no mistake about it. The hurt in her voice was clear as day, but far more than that... Vert _was_ mad.

From experience, IF had come to learn that once you got to know them, it was easy to deal with Blanc and Noire types when they got mad. They exploded and calmed down, usually — or certain other types (Neptune types) did the calming for them.

But IF had no idea how to handle someone like Vert in a state like this.

"Are you ready?" Vert smiled with all the sincerity of a horsebird promising it wouldn't eat the carrotman it planned to help travel across a dungeon in by flying it there in its mouth. "My my, I'm so lucky to have had so _many_ people speak up on my behalf in this matter, Miss IF! Let's hear what they have to say, shall we?"

IF's stomach did a somersault. She wanted to scream, to cry out, to tackle Vert to the ground and cover her mouth — anything to stop her before...

"'When are Lady Vert and Lady Blanc going to tie the knot already?'"

"'Did you guys see? Big Sis Vert was on a date with Lowee's goddess today!'"

"'Post In This Thread if you think Green Heart and White Heart are the best match in Gamindustri.'"

"'Saw Lady Green Heart with that ugly brown haired girl again. Moving to Lowee until she gets some better taste.'"

"'Can you believe how kind Lady Vert is, schmoozing around with those dumb girls who think they have a chance with her? Everyone knows she's only got eyes for White Heart!'"

"'Anyone who thinks Lady Purple Heart and Lady Black Heart are going to hook up before Lady Green Heart and Lady White Heart is functionally brain dead just eff-why-eye.'"

"'I'm going to-'"

"Enough!" IF stood up, fists clenched. She knew the comments, every last one of them — and those had been on the kinder end of the spectrum of them, in a manner of speaking. She had written them all, after all. But... But while it had been horrible enough writing them, horrible enough imagining them being read and being taken to heart, hearing them from Vert's own mouth was going to kill her. Tightening her fists, IF shook her head, her voice cracking. "Please... Please don't read anymore. I can't stand hearing it."

The blonde goddess watched IF, taking in her reaction.

"Oh?" Vert was giving nothing away. She was either too angry or too... Too... No, more was to come, wasn't it?

The brunette hesitantly looked at her goddess. She feared what was to come, but then... This was, in a way, what she had wanted, wasn't it?

" _You_ can't stand hearing _your_ words, IF?" Vert's anger had started to give way now, now that everything had come out into the open — now that there was no more need for her earlier charade. "Then what about me? What was _I_ supposed to think, seeing that it was _you_ saying such things?"

IF didn't have an answer for her.

 _She_ knew what she had _wanted_ Vert to think, but if she told Vert the truth, if she let Vert know, then it would defeat the entire point of doing it to begin with. The entire point was so that Vert didn't know it was coming from her!

"How did you find out that it was me...?" Instead, IF opted to dodge the question. Off guard as she was — and she was _very_ off guard right now — she was still one of Gamindustri's brightest.

Vert sighed. IF was eternally grateful her expression softened somewhat in the process of doing so. She didn't know if her heart was going to be able to take seeing Vert looking at her like that for much longer.

"You know I have every single one of your phones' individual addresses memorized, don't you?" As it happened, IF didn't know this... though she did now. To most, such a comment might have caused a chill to run down their spine. To IF, the goddess' words did the exact opposite. It was to the point she had to restrain herself for cooing — you can be darn sure she was thinking "Awwww..." to herself at that moment, though! If only that that touching statement wasn't inevitably going to be followed by. "Iffy... _Why_ were you saying those things? What could have possibly made you think they were a good idea? I know you weren't looking for attention... You know better than that. I know you wouldn't..."

Vert paused.

IF didn't have to be a mind reader to understand what was going on in the blonde's mind during that brief moment.

She was thinking "At least I thought I knew you wouldn't..." or something to that effect, wasn't it?

Those brief, fuzzy feelings that Vert's comment had gotten from her slowly began to fizzle away.

IF supposed it was inevitable, wasn't it? She didn't really have a choice in the matter. It wasn't as though she could overpower Vert, and when her Lady wanted something, from her especially... Well, like it or not, IF would probably submit. That was why this had all happened in the first place.

She supposed she could at least make it easy on Vert and rip off the bandaid quickly...

"I wanted you to tell me to leave you alone so you could pursue a more appropriate relationship. I wanted you to stop fawning over me and pursue Lady Blanc." She was blunt. She was to the point.

And like it or not, she was being honest.

Vert's mouth fell open.

Despite everything she'd seen on her blog, she hadn't thought IF had really... Surely, she had thought, _surely_ IF had to have...

For what _possible_... Had she been too overbearing? Had she gotten to be too much? Was it her fault? What had she done wrong...? Was it... Was it because she wasn't overbearing _enough_? That she was too playful and not serious enough?

What had she done to bring IF to think... to _feel_...

Now it was Vert who was hesitant, who was struggling to find the words.

"I... I see." The goddess nodded to herself a few times, as if trying to convince herself of something — of this horrible truth — more than anything else. Clearly, she didn't _really_ "see" anything at all, and from the looks of it, she didn't particularly want to either. "But... If that's how you feel about it, Iffy... _Why_? Why couldn't you just tell me...?"

IF bit her lip.

This was her crossroads, she realized.

She could tell Vert whatever she wanted, walk out of here, and never have to see Vert again. It didn't really matter that she had been found out, did it?

She took a deep breath. If Neptune were here, if Compa were here... They'd probably be encouraging her. They'd be telling her to follow the path she knew to be right. Maybe they'd be mockingly telling her to follow her heart or something like that. Well, tough luck to them, because that was exactly what she intended to do.

"I was hoping you'd latch onto her like you did me and we'd just drift apart. You guys really do click, you know? I just... I can't keep up with your pace, Lady Vert." Despite Vert's expression, IF just smiled sheepishly. Being honest with herself felt right. She should have started with this. "To tell the truth, I really was hoping you were going to ask me for relationship advice or if I would be okay with 'breaking up,' Lady Vert. So... I gave you a push, and I got caught. Now it just means I have to do it myself."

IF sighed, a wry smile of sorts on her lips. It was like a weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. All of this sneaking around... It was one thing to do it in battle, but not when it came to relationships.

She _really_ should have just come to Vert about it from the beginning and spared them both all of this heartache, she told herself.

"Anyway..." Silent as Vert was being... IF wasn't sure if it would be appropriate for her to stay much longer. She couldn't get caught up in Vert's flow again, or else she might never get out of it. Bowing her head slightly, she closed her eyes. "Thank you for everything, Lady Vert. You know I'll always-"

"You're lying to me."

Cutting through the mood IF was building up like butter, Vert was looking at IF as though she didn't even know her.

IF frowned. She wasn't going to place this game. Not this time.

"There you go again, Lady Vert..." IF shook her head, putting a frown onto her face as she did. "This is the kind of thing I'm talking about. This is why you and I can't-"

" _Do you think I can't tell, IF?_ " In a swift movement, Vert had crossed the room. Her hands were grasping IF's shoulders — firm, but wrought with a need almost- and her eyes were locked with IF's. "Well? _Do you?_ "

"Wh-" For her part, IF felt just a little indignant, though it was hard to under Vert's gaze. She hadn't broken a sweat telling that story, and Vert was just going to accuse her of lying? Unless Vert was just going to reject her out of her own feelings and nothing but otherwise, there was no reason to think that! She must have just thought IF was bluffing! "What do you mean!? D-Do you think I don't have pride or something, huh...?! Is that it?! That I like being a doormat?!"

"Isn't this act proof of your pride?" Vert's sharp eyes bore into IF. Despite herself, IF found her resolve lessening by the minute. Seeing a chance, Vert pushed forwards. "Please, Iffy... Tell me. What is it? Why are you so intent on... Whatever it is you're intent on...? Can't we talk about it? Isn't there anything we can do?"

That was just it.

There wasn't.

There wasn't anything they — or anyone — could ever do.

"Lady Vert..." IF spoke quietly, her gaze lowered — thanks to Vert's position, this left her in an almost perfect position, but it just wasn't the time, and nothing crossed either of their minds. "Don't you think about the future?"

Vert blinked. She took a step back, a small one, but her hands remained on IF's shoulders.

She didn't grasp what IF was saying.

"The future, Iffy?" She repeated. For a goddess, the future, the past... It was probably different than it looked to her. The Console War alone had made up most of her life — the life she knew with Iffy was but a drop in an ocean still. She had only learned to think of a future in the sense Iffy was used to _because_ of coming down here, _because_ of Iffy and Neptune and the others... Was that why she was finding it so hard to understand? "I don't understand what you mean."

IF sighed.

She had expected this.

She had also sworn she wouldn't tell, and look where she was.

Might as well _really_ rip the bandaid off.

"I'm going to die someday, Lady Vert. Long before you do."

IF knew for a fact that Vert had not been expecting her to bring this up.

"Wh... Why would you..." IF could see the moment her words were heard, for Vert's eyes shone with emotion IF had never seen in them. IF could feel the moment her words really sunk in, for Vert's grip on her shoulders tightened considerably. And lastly, IF could hear the moment the truth of her words reached Vert, as it had her, when the sound of Vert letting go and falling back onto her bed entered her ears. "Iffy, I... Why didn't you come to me about this sooner?"

"Would it have changed anything?" IF snapped back, surprising both herself and Vert. "Unless the Fountain of Youth is somewhere in Leanbox, what could you have done about it? There's nothing you _can_ do."

"Iffy... Hold on-" Vert started — but now that she was going, IF wasn't going to give Vert the chance to cut her off.

"D-Do you think I want to this?! Do you think I want to see you with somebody else, or to go settle down with Compa or Neptune and make myself think I'm okay with it?!"

Of course, deep down, she had hoped Vert would have had a solution. Before anything else, Vert was Green Heart, the goddess Vert had always believed in. A _goddess_. Naturally her feelings towards goddesses had changed over time, once she had gotten to know them, but...

 _Why couldn't you have been the one to bring this up?_

 _Why couldn't you have been the one to come to me?_

 _You're the goddess! You're supposed to make these things right!_

 _Can't you see how much I...?!_

As tears started to fall, IF's shoulders began to shake. She looked to the ground, ashamed of herself. She had blown it. She had wanted Vert to leave her be, and now there was no way that would happen.

"I see... I understand now, Iffy." At long last, softness — that real softness — that she was known for had returned to Vert's voice. "Goodness... That's a lot to hold inside. It must have been hard on you. I'm ashamed of myself for not realizing. I'm been indulging myself for too long, it seems — that includes on you."

"Wh-What are you..." IF raised her head just as Vert lowered herself to take her hands. "Stop this... Hey, don't you get it? Weren't you listening to me?"

"I heard you loud and clear, Iffy." Then why are you smiling...?! "You're too much... Much, much too much. I may not let Neptune have you back after this, Iffy."

"What... No, do you not..." She shook her head. Did Vert not understand the concept of mortality? Was that it? "Vert, you and I- We can't...!"

"Oh, we're going to." The blonde spoke with all the confidence of a goddess. It helped that she was one... but even if she wasn't, she probably could have made it happen, IF felt.

"But..." IF, on the other hand, she had no such confidence in this moment. "But... We don't have any..."

Vert shook her head, giving IF's hands a light squeeze.

"Yes, we can. We will." She paused, briefly. Vert supposed an addendum, harsh as it was, was in order. "For as long as we can."

"B-But, I'm not like you... I'm human... You're not, Vert... Someday, I'll..."

"You seem to be misunderstanding something. Yes, it is absolutely true that one day you will be taking a part of me with you... But that day is going to happen one way or the other, Iffy." Vert's voice was surprisingly hard — a sharp contrast to the gentle, yet almost desperate grip she had on IF's hands clasped in her own. "The only thing you'll be accomplishing here, sweet as you're trying to be trying to 'spare me' like this, is that you'll be taking it sooner and making the next few decades harder on us both."

IF opened her mouth to form a response. She didn't... No, she _couldn't_... IF had to make her understand...! They'd surely regret this someday, they would...

Vert looked her in the eye. Her expression made IF feel like someone had just dumped a bucket of cool, refreshing water on her hot head, taking most of her worries and concerns with the water that dripped down her body.

"Even if the whole world really _did_ think I belonged with someone else, even if it was someone I would never see after tomorrow, even if it was someone who _hated_ MMOs, the only one I belong with is who I decide I belong with."

The blonde gently pressed her forehead against IF's.

"That's you, Iffy."

IF was taken aback. She had been completely and totally won over. Was this the power of a goddess, or just the power of her goddess?

And yet... And yet if she stopped to think about something Vert had just said, _because_ this _was_ "her goddess," IF had to pause.

"You'd really be with someone who hated MMOs?"

"Do you hate MMOs, Iffy?"

"Huh? Well, no, but-"

"Then _of course_ I would."

Ohhhhh! This goddess... This goddess never changed...!

Still... Smiling to herself, IF found a momentary surge of boldness coming on — taking it while she had it, she hugged the blonde close.

She was really glad Vert was this way.

Really, really glad.


End file.
